schedule
for your party. individual conditions, circumstances and symptoms
may vary
decide its good idea for a party. send invitations.
if by pc, ensure you have enough stationery & inks
easy bit
done now surprise partner and watch his face drop. beg, steal or
download hit n miss recipes
familiarise. stress out a little
about the difficulty and the hard work involved, but lets march
on
on the day, you will need to prepare: quantity chopped
coriander and have pestle & mortar to hand
lashings crushed
garlic, 100g julienne ginger, 100g green chillis – some
chopped
(jars/tubes of ready to use 'lazy persons stuff' is
just not good – no matter what the label says!)
1 tub
of butter, 1 tub of homemade ghee (trust me, forget homemade, buy
from supermarket)
6000g onions peeled, chop & dice as and
when needed, have hanky ready to wipe his tears (see below)
1000g
maris piper (mumbai potatoes or chips – as insurance),
assortment of vegetables, check recipes
poppadums grilled &
toasted plus onion & tomato salad & dips to go with
supermarket chutney & pickles
quantity chicken fillets into
pieces. marinade some in 'that crimson' spice mix, yuk. then oven
bake
quantity lean leg of lamb, cleaned, cut into pieces and
cooked to tender
quantity lean mince, mixed with peppers, herbs,
spices, shape into burgers (you decided to do abit extra)
1250g
yeast dough plus 500g dough without yeast (in case) roll and bake
breads just when needed
2000g top grade basmati rice as at
mangotree. split into 2 trays make 1 into saffron rice
list any
other special ingredients, spices, herbs and check storeroom
supplies that you have everything
butter up partner for shopping
spree (basically to push trollies/carry bags – no donkeys at
tesco - yet)
ensure he has cash, ethnic stores prefer cash and
frown on plastic (dont want to put it all back do we?)
preflight
check: pots/pans/utensils/mixers/blenders/plates/cooker & oven
space/work area/spices/herbs
you are ready to go! lets start.
remember everything needs to come together at the right time
tempt
partner with all manner of imaginary goodies, he'll whistle at
tedious painstaking jobs (see onions)
this gives opportunity for
much needed & deserved glass of wine. ignore his 'jobs not done
yet' remark!
3 glasses later, start pacing the floor, you are
allowed a tantrum and earned a stress out period,
forgot an
ingredient, send partner to shops and say 'stop muttering or all
goodies will be withdrawn'
meanwhile have another glass of wine
and cigarette to calm nerves, this is getting stressful
guests
arrive in 34 minutes. lets have another flap, why isnt he here when
you need him most you ask?
running out of time arent we? last
chance ring local takeaway to place an order for 20 people
'solly,
welly bizzzytime, 90 minutes maybe mores'. omg they will be here in
22 minutes, crisis! have a flap
wish you hadnt bothered. when
guests arrive, make excuse, they got date wrong and take them to
pub
remedy and action should have taken: call us as soon
as invitations are in the post
